Plain, simple Jake

How I failed an easy class: an essay log

It is now 8:25pm Tuesday. My final paper for Film Studies 200 is due at noon tomorrow. My status: I've decided which movie I'm going to write about. (It's Cronenberg's Videodrome.)

Following in the finest tradition of the Gateway—that tradition being one of wasting time with useless diversions—I've decided to keep a log of my progress as I attempt to complete the essay. Will I succeed? Probably not, but stay tuned!

9:10pm: I have prepared and consumed dinner, a simple but lovely spaghettini with fire-roasted tomato sauce and nutritional yeast. JLo added me as a friend on facebook, so I added her back. I've also checked hockey scores. The Oilers lost; that's not good. The Flames are winning, though, which is good, but not exactly as important. Believe it or not, I have done a bit of thinking about the paper, and have an idea of what my topic will be. Nonetheless, current word count: 0

It should also be noted that, unlike previous essay bloggers, I won't be staying up all night. I'll wake up early if I have to, which it's looking like I will, but I needs my sleeps at some point.

10:57pm: Progress! Of a sort, and interspersed with bits of Tetris and facebook, but hey. I have an idea, dumb though it may be, and have actual words written, if not many. I forgot to mention that I'm only aiming for around 1500 words here, so yay for that. I may still have a slim shot at finishing. Current word count: 222. Still a ways to go.

11:36pm: I have wasted a bit more time, and I'm being endlessly amused by a sudden flurry of unsubscribe emails, and angry responses to those emails, being sent out to the Arts "town crier" list, and thus to a large number (I'd guess nearly all) of Arts students. I am very proud to be an Arts student right now, let me tell you. I just wish it had happened a week ago so I could've put it in the paper. Oh well. Anyway, at some point I also managed to write a few words for the essay. Current word count: 384. I'd better step on it. Current word count for this post: 373. I'm a moron.

11:54pm: I'm actually moving forward! Current word count: 500. The word:time ratio is still stupidly low, but improving rapidly.

12:10am: Fuck this, I'm going to bed. Current word count: 621. I'll set the alarm for early o'clock and finish it off in the morning, if a little shorter than it should be. I'm not accomplising anything right now, though. Well, I am, but slowly, and not of high quality.

6:16am: I'm up and "ready to go." Since signing off last night, I've received nearly 100 emails over the town crier list, which is both hilarious and not cool. Word count unchanged, but I'm getting on it.

6:40am: I'm a bad person, and read (well, skimmed) through all those emails instead of doing anything productive. Ross Moroz's reply was hilarious, and boy, did he make some good points, particularly about the Gatewayer participation. Word count unchanged, but I swear to Jebus I'm getting on it.

7:22am: My best (or most prolific, anyway) progress thus far. Best of all, I'm now onto the fourth page, meaning I only need another one or so. I'm now lowering my target to 1300 words. Current word count: 886

7:57am: I've broken 1000! Better than I thought I'd do. Current word count: 1008

8:29am: I've cheated my way onto the fifth page (that's metaphorical cheating, not literal, so no need to report me), which means I basically just need to wrap up without worrying about the word count. Hurray! Nonetheless, current word count: 1247. If only any of them were good.

9:07am: Just about five full pages, and you can call me Quitty McDonerson, 'cuz that's it for this shit. What's this" proofreading" you speak of? Final word count: a shamefully low yet unexpectedly high 1385. I'm glad to be done, but next year, I think I'm going to try actually being a student.

Thanks for reading along. Now is bus-catching time.

posted by Jake @ 8:26 PM